"I can fit in it okay, I just can't close the door."

-Mary on cooling off in the freezer

"Freshmen are friends not fish..."

"...no wait that made more sense on a t-shirt I read."

Singing a New Version of Rihanna's "Take a Bow"

You look so dumb right now/standin' outside my house
Poopin' in my front yard/But you're constipated
Please, Just cut it out

Don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not
And baby I know you're only sorry you got caughtpoopin'inmyfrontyard...

Whilst discussing cancer...

"Give you cancer I will"

"The cancer cells are within you right now like the Force"

When someone parked ridiculously close to us and she had to squeeze through a barely opened door into the passenger seat...

"Wow, thanks a lot mister, you're lucky I'm not a fat person."

source

On baseball mitts

"I think they look like chicken fingers"

Should I add this to my resume?

"Semi-retarded at first, but then I grew out of it."

On crushes...

"I think about it all the time, like how I think all the time that I'm insane and you're my bed nurse."

Trailing off at the end of a conversation...

"I don't know where this was going....but the point is, don't touch my sister because, like a balrog, I'm a fiery demon."

In response to "I'll sleep when I'm dead"

"Or you could sleep when you're, you know, like tired."

Getting increasingly angry...

"Send me those pictures right now or I'm going to poop, wrap it in a tissue, and leave that in your bed."

In a moment of anger...

"If you don't send me those pictures, I'm going to pee on your face."

When driving down a road lined with trees...

"I expect we'll find the elves of Lorien soon"

In a Moment of Epiphany...

"Don't you think Make it or Break it would be so much better with dinosaurs?"

Gymnast girls...or gymnast dinosaurs? Gymnast dinosaurs would be way cooler, no question.